its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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