I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
