Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
