At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
