"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Of course I have a pirate flag
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
PANTIES FOUND
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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