Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
