Betty ford says i'm here all night
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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