so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
