I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
