haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
