Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
