Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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