I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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