God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I believe in your delicious
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
