it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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