I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
