I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize