return my video game
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize