I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
