He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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