cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
