I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.  Â
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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