you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The uberlube is also flammable
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
