We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
