i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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