i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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