Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Slut skills are useful in every country.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
