just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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