I'm gonna have a badass scar
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
