Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
