who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
