2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
