And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
