? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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