just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
