You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
