scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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