Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
