What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
