Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
