So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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