i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
