my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
