Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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