dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
