Me. At least after what I've been through.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
