Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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