I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize