my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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