your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
