i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
