So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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