At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
