He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
