Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
