I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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