I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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