is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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