So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
