what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
