question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
