I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
