This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize