God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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